The Suspense Scene: Deidra's Submission
Here's an excerpt and there is not title. Link below.
Two months ago she had celebrated her 25th birthday out with her husband, friends, and family, nothing fancy but they all had a good time. The day was unlike any other birthday except for the overwhelming guilt that had been eating away at her soul. Here she was a young, pretty, successful woman married to an ambitious, highly medaled, police officer of five years with clear cut goals that he was achieving one by one and she had this type of drama going on in her life. He was a really great guy that she was so happy to have met and married. They were perfect for each other. She had started her own gift basket business 2 years ago and had gone back to school for an MBA in the past 6 months and Barry was being looked at by the FBI. Life was on track for them, they were living well. But then it happened.
http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AVu0nka6yeQKZGczd3ozcWdfMTdqenh3c3RmYg&hl=en
Please don't pass the link around. If others you know would like to offer a critique, tell them to comment on a public post for the password as a courtesy please.
Critique Criterion: Did your pulse quicken and your breathing accelerate?
If yes, how and why. If no, the same.
