A scene must be written detailing someone's "most embarassing moment". The prelude to the situation must be given as well the character's extrication from the situation.
The Scene with criterion will be posted Wednesday, November 4.
Here's an excerpt and there is not title. Link below.
Two months ago she had celebrated her 25th birthday out with her husband, friends, and family, nothing fancy but they all had a good time. The day was unlike any other birthday except for the overwhelming guilt that had been eating away at her soul. Here she was a young, pretty, successful woman married to an ambitious, highly medaled, police officer of five years with clear cut goals that he was achieving one by one and she had this type of drama going on in her life. He was a really great guy that she was so happy to have met and married. They were perfect for each other. She had started her own gift basket business 2 years ago and had gone back to school for an MBA in the past 6 months and Barry was being looked at by the FBI. Life was on track for them, they were living well. But then it happened.
http://docs.google.com/Doc?docid=0AVu0nka6yeQKZGczd3ozcWdfMTdqenh3c3RmYg&hl=en
Please don't pass the link around. If others you know would like to offer a critique, tell them to comment on a public post for the password as a courtesy please.
Critique Criterion: Did your pulse quicken and your breathing accelerate?
If yes, how and why. If no, the same.
Since we aren't ready with the first topic, I decided to post a story I wrote and posted on our previous blog. This should give you an idea of the kind of stories I write. Oh I didn't bother to redit so if you notice any typos or any other craziness, then that's why.
Enjoy!
By DeidraLaDramaPrincess
Copyright 2007
Tugging on her special little outfit before she entered the stage, which needed no alterations, Chantel took a deep breath and put on her brightest smile. She walked out and greeted her audience with an elated “Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays” to appease any type of celebrator in the crowd. Everyone was happy to see her because she was Santa’s little helper and that santa would soon follow her and they could get on with the show. Dressed in a short, red, velvet, two piece little number, reminiscent of Santa’s suit, she felt ultra femme.
“Little boys and girls get in line before Santa comes! He’ll be out in just a minute.” She slipped behind the gingerbread house and informed Santa that the kids were ready. He told her thanks and brushed against her as he was walking to the stage. She felt a tingle deep inside of her sending sensual thoughts of santa into full speed in her mind. Chantel loved to flirt and santa wasn’t half bad looking. Not the classic fat, white guy in a suit, just a little thick around the waist. No one would knew because his suit offered padding for what his body lacked. She loved a tall man with dark brown complexion.
Chantel followed santa back onto the stage and opened the velvet rope so that the first child could climb into santa’s lap and ask for what they wanted for being good all year, even if it wasn’t true. After the last demon child had sat on santa’s lap at 7 that evening. It was time to pack up and call it a day. While on a break she had discovered that the gingerbread house was actually a house, with a table and chair and minature tree inside. She took it upon herself to be the first inside to rest her feet before leaving for the day. She put her feet up on the footstool and leaned back in the big comfy chair. Before her eyes closed for 5 minutes she heard someone coming in. she opened her eyes to see santa half out of his costume.
He wasn’t delighted to see her sitting in the chair and he was about to leave before chantel spoke.
“sorry I didn’t think you were going to stick around much longer. I heard you tell one of the elves that you were going to leave in time to get home to your family. How many children do you have?”
“3. and you are right I did say that. See ya later.” He turned to leave once again and chantel jumped from the chair to stop him. He didn’t put up much of a fight to her relief.
“you can have the chair and I’ll sit on the footstool and we can talk. I don’t have much family to go home to. Just going to see my parents on Sunday and that’s about it. I wish I had someone to go home to. Christmas can be very lonely and frustrating.”
“why is it frustrating? You don’t have to do much shopping. So why are you complaining?”
“I don’t but I meant sexually.” She was blunt and purposely. She wasn’t sure if santa was married and still held out hope that if he was that things were lacking in the bedroom.
“Oh yea. He laughed at her comment and decided to get a better look out her body. She was tight and phat in all the right places. Nice ass, sexy legs, just the right amount of breast and those coy expressions she wore. “for the past few years, I have spent Christmas frustrated msyelf. It’s been a while. Since the divorce I just have focused on my kids. Hence this suit. I love showering them with gifts.”
Chantel was delighted to know that mr. santa wasn’t married. “so what do your friends call you santa?”
“Cory.”
Chantel rose from her footstool and stood in front of him. When she was close enough to feel his breath on her stomach she stopped and ran her finger down the bridge of his nose.
“Cory. I ain’t gonna lie. You are very sexy. I love a man like you. And I would love to kiss you right now.”
He pulled her close and they kissed deeply. He made sure to caress her body and squeeze her breasts as he moaned. She landed in his lap and began to grind. Her skin was so soft and warm. He found his way under her top and began to feel her breast again. They were perky and firm. Rolling her nipple around between his fingers he took her top off and took one into his mouth. He sucked long and hard and licked. She groaned his named and grinded harder onto his dick. Her pussy felt extra fat. The grinding was making him moist with pre-cum.
She slipped from his lap and got her knees and buried her head in his lap. He lay back and took her long strokes with her mouth for what seemed like hours. With every slurp she sucked and licked his dick. It had been a while but her skills made it seem like it had been forever. He had never had it like this before. He grabbed her hair and ground her head into his lap as he pounded back. Not wanting to cum before he felt her pussy, he removed her head from his lap and kissed her, their tongues flicking each other. He rose from his chair, took her hands in his, lifting her from her knees. It was her turn to be pleased orally.
She pulled her skirt up as high on her waist as she could. Her red boy cut panties were sexy and showed the fatness between her legs. Santa laid her back on the footstool and slid her panties to the side, only he didn’t see a slit. She spread her legs wider so that her treasure could be seen.
Chantel pulled her dick towards upfront and it sprang up ready for oral action. For a moment Cory seemed hesitant. He looked at chantel and back her dick. She thought he was about to get up and beat the shit out of her. but instead he took her stick deep into his throat. Her dick was fat, around 8 inches long. Girth was her best asset. He wrapped his hands around the base of her dick. She lay back over the footstool her hands behind her on the floor holding her body up. He licked her balls and the tip of her dick like a pro. Slow circles on her dick and quick, stiff licks on her balls. Taking one into his mouth and rolling it around. the vibrations from his moans made the hairs on chantel’s body stand up. Putting attention back on her dick, he slurped pre-cum. Pumping her piece hard and fast she as about to cum in his mouth. He moaned with pleasure and seemed to enjoy it more than she did, which was a hell of a lot. Her hips rose with every other slurp he made. The end was near and she couldn’t take it any longer. She saw stars as he swallowed every drop of her.
“Turn over.” He said with his dick in his hand standing over her, wearing only his boots. She did as she as ordered and displayed her fat ass in all its glory. As she rested her elbows in the seat of the chair and her knees on the footstool, she pulled her knees in closer to her body so that her ass would spread just enough that he could easily see her blazing entry way.
She felt globs of spit land on her hole and his finger slide in firmly. Inserting 2 fingers, she pushed back onto him and began to moan his name. He pressed his dick into her ass gently, holding her waist to steady himself. As he pushed in, she pushed onto. He held onto her shoulders and rolled his hips onto her ass. They went on like this for a few minutes, the most intense few minutes of chantel’s sexual history. He made her feel more like a woman than she had ever felt with any man. He came in her ass as she thought of how good her body felt, the electricity spreading all over her body, reaching her fingertips. She jerked her cock when she felt him coming down from his orgasm. He was leaving her pink hole when she jumped from the footstool and pushed him onto the floor and straddled his face. She came all over his lips. And he licked up every drop.
They gathered their clothes, had one long kiss, and exchanged numbers, planning not to spend Christmas alone in their beds this year. They left the “North Pole” going their separate ways. Chantel gleamed with delight as she felt the dull, pleasurable pain inside her pink hole that would remind her of him until she saw him again of his dick pounding her ass. Cory walked out of the mall, happy he had decided to go all out on gifts for his children this year and happy he dressed up as santa.
Today we kick off the challenge with week 1's topic,
Suspense!
Getty Images
Each of us must Write a scene containing one person in jeopardy and another person attempting
to rescue them from that jeopardy.
Our offerings will be posted on or before October 25 with the critique criteria.
Stay tuned!!
A Little Background Please
Dejavudoo and I met about 5 years ago on another bloggingcommunity. This blog is actually our second writing blog together. The first we started a couple of years ago with a third writer but we couldn't stay in our groove so we let it go. We are always talking about writing and our lack of new offerings so we decided to change that and find out who we really are as writers.
Both of us have been writing for years now, since grade/middle school. Back then it was for personal reasons, an escape from our lives through our emotions onto paper. I used to keep a diary as a 'tween that my mother often broke into and then stole from me, but we won't get into that mess right now but you can see why I had to write to escape.
From Then to Now
Although my mother was a diary thief she did encourage me to write. Whenever I would shut down on her and go completely silent after acting out she would confront me and try to get me to express myself. She learned early on that getting me to open my mouth wasnt going to work so she gave me a pen and paper to try to figure me out. I gave her what she wanted, but for the most part I saved my truest feelings for the diary, hence her thieving.
Over the years I have come back to writing for safety. There is no talkback from the paper, I can go on and on all day long and never be questioned or be misunderstood. For instance, whenever there was a problem with a boyfriend I would write him a letter. In fact, I still have letters written to me from my daughter's father during his stint in the navy in the early 90's. Aside from the fact that I rarely saw him because of his job, he is a quite difficult person to deal with so writing was the best way to communicate with him. Whenever we spoke over the phone or when he came home on leave, I often would go into a tirade on him laced with profanity and threats to his life, to which he found totally hilarious. Yes writing him kept me out of prison, or dead.
Whenever I have received bad service at a doctor's office, I write a scathing letter detailing my disgust with said doctor or their staff's behavior and treatment towards me or my children. I still do this and I advise everyone to do the same. No they don't always respond but they won't forget and it just may spur them to straighten up.
This is why I Believe
Now writing is my go to form of communication but that isnt the only reason I think I am good at it.
If I were to tell you my life story you would seriously be shocked that I am still standing and in one piece for that matter. I have had a lot of things happen to me, seen so much, done so much, and met a variety of personalities with their own intricate experiences over the past 32 years. When I write for storytelling purposes I draw from all of those characters, experiences, and feelings then sprinkle them throughout my work. Every piece that I write contains a piece of me, how I speak, look, think, feel, and live. Every storyline has a part of my life in some shape or form within it. And every dramatic tale is true to life to someone I know.
So let me ask, are you interested? I know you are so let me tell you what we are trying to do here.
Behind the Madness
On this blog you can expect for me to get raunchy, silly (a little ri-dumb-dic-ulous sometimes), sorrowful, and always bring you some drama. I write for the eroticist in you but I'm not trying to be the next Zane and there is more to my writing than the fuck. I'm me and that's the only person I can be so I hope you take my readings as unique.
That's what I have to offer now Deja will tell you for herself what you can expect from her.
What we Will Bring you and Why you are Here
The first several weeks of this blog we will write a scene at least 5 pages long on a particular topic such as romance or sci fi/fantasy. Some of the topics we will be familiar with and others will be foreign to us which may also be true for you too. During this time, we would like for our special readers to offer us their honest but polite, thoughts and opinions on our writings. This isn't a contest or a praise party. If you like something in particular but feel that it could be better, please tell us such. If you think something sucks, let us know but do so with input on how you think it can be better. We gain little from only positive and shallow reviews. We are writing and sharing with you to get better and define ourselves as what kind of writers we are or if we are writers at all.
Check in on October 19 when will announce the topics. Our subsequent scenes will be posted each Monday, unless otherwise noted.
Also, we ask that you critique both of our works on each topic to be fair.
Ok so let's get started!!
